"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."

"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."

"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves."

"When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that longevity."

"I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun."

"The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors."

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."

"It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it."

"Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there."

"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do."

"This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now."

"All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'"

"Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story."

"I've been a very lucky actor."

"I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it."

"Funny is funny is funny."

"I'm very open to the up-and-comers."

"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."