"If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny."

"I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies."

"I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up."

"That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it."

"My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor."

"I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching."

"I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh."

"You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh."

"I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny."

"In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak."

"When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top."

"I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such."

"I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself."