"Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels."

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."

"Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting."

"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose."

"The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows."

"There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

"Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed."

"He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!""

"Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them."

"Flowers are happy things."

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

"She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when.""