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Humor Quotes

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"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."
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"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
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"A better ending could not have been scripted. Of course, if we had won, that would have been better."
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"Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial."
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"It never seems to occur to some people, that, like beauty, a sense of humor may sometimes be fatal."
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"If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor."
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"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
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"I have avoided becoming stale by putting a little water on the plate, lying on the plate, and having myself refreshed in a toaster oven for 23 minutes once every month."
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"Mess is fairly good. It is like what is found in American hotels except for cake and pie."
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"I love the diversity of America. I love the plain, normal sense of humor Americans have. It is not wicked, like in some countries. And I also love how new America is."
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"Men live by intervals of reason under the sovereignty of humor and passion."
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"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."
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"If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."
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"Humor is reason gone mad."
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"I'm a great admirer of cartoons, because I can't do cartoons."
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"Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else."
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"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."
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"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."
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"But if you don't watch me, I will try and sneak in some humor. I see humor everywhere in life around me."
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"The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession."
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"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
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"If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire."
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"All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure."
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"If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time."
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"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."
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"The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck."
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"This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it."
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"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
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"Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant."
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"All I try to do is as earnestly and as acutely as I can, conceive a character and try to portray this character just honestly. If the humor is within the absurdity and the awfulness of situations, then let it be seen that way."
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"Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976."
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"If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well."
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"Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud."
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"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."
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"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."
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"Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles."
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"Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."
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"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
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"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."
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"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
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"I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes."
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"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."
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"My favorite animal is steak."
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"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing."
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"The easiest way to remember your future wife's birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday."
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"By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean."
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"I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor."
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"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
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"It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?"
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"Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor."
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