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Humor Quotes


"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."


"A better ending could not have been scripted. Of course, if we had won, that would have been better."


"Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial."


"Mess is fairly good. It is like what is found in American hotels except for cake and pie."


"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."


"I'm a great admirer of cartoons, because I can't do cartoons."


"The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession."


"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."


"All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure."


"If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time."


"I'm not for gratuitous nudity, but if there's humor, I don't have a problem."


"The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck."


"This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it."


"Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant."


"Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976."


"If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well."


"Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud."


"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."


"Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles."


"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."


"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."


"I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes."


"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing."


"The easiest way to remember your future wife's birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday."


"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."


"It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?"


"Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor."
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