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Humor Quotes
"Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor."
"What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor."
"We want you to visit our State of Excitement often. Come again and again. But for heaven's sake, don't move here to live. Or if you do have to move in to live, don't tell any of your neighbors where you are going."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"The first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit."
"I'm not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I'll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to."
"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."
"The only time to buy these is on a day with no "y" in it."
"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."
"Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
"Don't get married to an actress because they're also actresses in bed."
"Falling in love is not the problem, hitting your head on the way down is."
"If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man."
"Conservative humor is frankly harder than liberal humor. You get points for just being liberal. You can get more points if you make fun of your own side sometimes."
"Joe Barbera's s always complaining that he can't get humor into cartoons anymore. Just do it. You've got your money. Why do they let the networks run their lives?"
"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."
"Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs."
"An intelligent man only argues with his wife when she has lost her voice."
"I'll do humor about myself, I'll poke fun and everything, but that's me and I can do it to me. I think it's cruel to do it to somebody else."
"Don't be on the side of the angels, it's too lowering."
"I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington."
"True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper."
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
"My greatest thrill was the day Mad magazine spoofed 'Ghost.'"
"The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles."
"Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set."
"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."
"Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product."
"As far as humor goes, I've always been a very insecure person and I've always wanted to be liked."
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
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