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Jokes Quotes


"Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues."


"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."


"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."


"This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included."


"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."


"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."


"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."


"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."


"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."


"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."


"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."


"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."


"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
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